A Day Made For A Funeral

For those of you that don't know, my stepgrandfather just passed away.

It has been quite a shock to the family. It was terrible how he died. I won't make it public information, but my friends, if you ask me I will tell you. The funeral was held today.

It was a simple service. Of course, it was very emotional for the family. I think we're still all in shock. The pastor gave some comforting words, and a few songs were sung. I still didn't feel any better. Then they rolled the casket out.

The procession was intresting. I'm so glad we live in the south. People, out of respect for my stepgrandfather, stopped their cars. Even in the middle of the road, they would stop! I was so grateful for the kindness that these strangers showed.

When we arrived at the gravesite, it was something like out of the movies. My tears mixed with the rain falling on me. My family stood around the grave dressed all in black, holding our umbrellas. The pastor was reading scripture as a bagpipe player played Amazing Grace in the background. The tears I had shed just a few days earlier at graduation were now replaced by more tears of sadness and a heavy heart.

So now what? Well, I'm hurting. I've realized how short life is. How at any given moment, I could leave this world..and it frightens me. My biggest fear is that of being alone. Unfortunatly, right now I am. I think that's why I'm trying so hard to find a girlfriend. I can't stand being alone anymore. I get too afraid. What happened with the circumstances surrounding this death, didn't help me at all.

So I go to bed tonight, obviously saddened. I would love to find messages from my friends left on here or on my facebook and on my wall. Emails...calls...anything. Just to know that they're still with me. I hope with their help, I can begin to feel better....