A Day Made For A Funeral
For those of you that don't know, my stepgrandfather just passed away.
It has been quite a shock to the family. It was terrible how he died. I won't make it public information, but my friends, if you ask me I will tell you. The funeral was held today.
It was a simple service. Of course, it was very emotional for the family. I think we're still all in shock. The pastor gave some comforting words, and a few songs were sung. I still didn't feel any better. Then they rolled the casket out.
The procession was intresting. I'm so glad we live in the south. People, out of respect for my stepgrandfather, stopped their cars. Even in the middle of the road, they would stop! I was so grateful for the kindness that these strangers showed.
When we arrived at the gravesite, it was something like out of the movies. My tears mixed with the rain falling on me. My family stood around the grave dressed all in black, holding our umbrellas. The pastor was reading scripture as a bagpipe player played Amazing Grace in the background. The tears I had shed just a few days earlier at graduation were now replaced by more tears of sadness and a heavy heart.
So now what? Well, I'm hurting. I've realized how short life is. How at any given moment, I could leave this world..and it frightens me. My biggest fear is that of being alone. Unfortunatly, right now I am. I think that's why I'm trying so hard to find a girlfriend. I can't stand being alone anymore. I get too afraid. What happened with the circumstances surrounding this death, didn't help me at all.
So I go to bed tonight, obviously saddened. I would love to find messages from my friends left on here or on my facebook and on my wall. Emails...calls...anything. Just to know that they're still with me. I hope with their help, I can begin to feel better....
It has been quite a shock to the family. It was terrible how he died. I won't make it public information, but my friends, if you ask me I will tell you. The funeral was held today.
It was a simple service. Of course, it was very emotional for the family. I think we're still all in shock. The pastor gave some comforting words, and a few songs were sung. I still didn't feel any better. Then they rolled the casket out.
The procession was intresting. I'm so glad we live in the south. People, out of respect for my stepgrandfather, stopped their cars. Even in the middle of the road, they would stop! I was so grateful for the kindness that these strangers showed.
When we arrived at the gravesite, it was something like out of the movies. My tears mixed with the rain falling on me. My family stood around the grave dressed all in black, holding our umbrellas. The pastor was reading scripture as a bagpipe player played Amazing Grace in the background. The tears I had shed just a few days earlier at graduation were now replaced by more tears of sadness and a heavy heart.
So now what? Well, I'm hurting. I've realized how short life is. How at any given moment, I could leave this world..and it frightens me. My biggest fear is that of being alone. Unfortunatly, right now I am. I think that's why I'm trying so hard to find a girlfriend. I can't stand being alone anymore. I get too afraid. What happened with the circumstances surrounding this death, didn't help me at all.
So I go to bed tonight, obviously saddened. I would love to find messages from my friends left on here or on my facebook and on my wall. Emails...calls...anything. Just to know that they're still with me. I hope with their help, I can begin to feel better....
posted by Jeffrey Lazenby | 10:07 PM
1 Comments:
Hey Jeff! I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather, and even more sorry that I didn't read this post sooner. Please tell your parents that my prayers are with them, just as they are with you. I've never really lost anyone who was close to me. My mother's parents died when I was very young. I never knew my dad's father before he died, though I met him once when I was really little. And my dad's mom seems determined to out-live the rest of us. So, I can't say that I understand what it is like to lose someone you really care about. But if I could, I would send you a hug right now...gift-wrapped and everything. I can't make the pain any easier...I wish I could...but I wanted you to know that I care and I'm always here if you need anything. I've found myself thinking a lot about death lately. My uncle has cancer and while he was given 3-7 years to live, it will eventually kill him. I worry about my cousins and my aunt. They have never been strong believers in anything and I wonder how they will handle his death. I wonder how I will handle it. Mostly, I don't think about it...but avoiding the issue won't add years to his life. I think about Pheng and Mikhail and I wonder when I will die and when those I love will die...and what will be left unsaid and undone. What opportunities will I miss because I didn't take advantage of the limited time I was given on this earth? There are so many things that we put off until tomorrow and some day there will be no more tomorrows. I wonder if any of us are ever really prepared to leave or to be left behind. There are so many things that I have left unsaid...I only hope that I will have time to say them. And as far as being scared of being alone...I think that is a fear that all of us share on some level during our lives. The fear that there will never be someone to share our lives with...to journey beside us...to choose to stay in good times and bad. God will send you someone...of that I have no doubt. You're an amazing guy...if you end up alone then there is something seriously wrong with the women on this planet. Until you find that perfect someone may God bless you and keep you in his arms where you will never be alone. Take care of yourself, Jeff. I hope God sends you and your family a rainbow.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
-John 3:16
"If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it."
-John 14:14
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."
-Revelation 21:4
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