All Dressed Up
Have you ever heard the saying "All dressed up and nowhere to go?" I may have been wearing normal clothes today, but that's what I sure felt like. For eight years, every fall..like a religion to itself...I've been in marching band. Today, for the first time in my college career there was a football game, and I had no idea what to do!
I did have the sense enough to sleep in...there's a reason why they saw fit to award me a college degree. However, once I got up, that's when the feeling began. For four years, every game day was planned out for me. Be here and do this at this time, but today...today there was no plan. The game started at 3:30. I looked at the clock, it read 10 AM. Crap.
After the traditional lunch of Boone Drug, I started the aimless wandering. I observed the other tailgaters and did not feel compelled to join them in their drunken revelries. I'm extremely Caucasian, I didn't need alcohol to make my singing terrible and my dancing completely uncoordinated.
I could hear the pep bands as they wandered the campus, and as the faint sounds of Yikas reached my ears, I felt as if my purpose was way off with them. I sat in the lobby of the music building and listened to conversations about the current happenings in the School of Music and then sat with my friends in the instrumental library as they discussed what pieces to play with their own ensembles.
I find myself trapped. Wedged in that limbo between student and teacher. I watched the game and cheered the Apps to victory, yet still felt pointless. My heart was with the band, and that's where it belongs.
As I sit here at my desk I look over to my left and see my diploma hanging proudly on the wall. On my bookshelf is a computer printout of a North Carolina teaching license, and as I sit and contemplate on the two...I feel...I feel....
Hope. Purpose. Meaning. I am a teacher, and will always be a teacher. My heart is with the band, and it will always be there...but it's getting close to my turn. It's getting close to my turn to lead a band of my own. To inspire students and be inspired by them. To instill in my students a lifelong love and appreciation of the musical arts. Looking at these pieces of paper, they are but a symbol of my time as an undergraduate student at Appalachian. I now work for a new piece of paper. One that symbolizes advanced study in my field. One that means I will be better prepared, better equipped to fulfill my true purpose in life. I work to become a Master of my craft. I will embrace further game days with a renewed sense of vigor. I will meet my friends, watch the band, cheer the game on and enjoy being a student, for that time is growing short.
I know my purpose. My purpose was not lost, it just became a bit higher..that's all.
May God keep you this and every night.
~When he walks he casts a shadow of purpose. ~Emme Woodhull-Bäche
I did have the sense enough to sleep in...there's a reason why they saw fit to award me a college degree. However, once I got up, that's when the feeling began. For four years, every game day was planned out for me. Be here and do this at this time, but today...today there was no plan. The game started at 3:30. I looked at the clock, it read 10 AM. Crap.
After the traditional lunch of Boone Drug, I started the aimless wandering. I observed the other tailgaters and did not feel compelled to join them in their drunken revelries. I'm extremely Caucasian, I didn't need alcohol to make my singing terrible and my dancing completely uncoordinated.
I could hear the pep bands as they wandered the campus, and as the faint sounds of Yikas reached my ears, I felt as if my purpose was way off with them. I sat in the lobby of the music building and listened to conversations about the current happenings in the School of Music and then sat with my friends in the instrumental library as they discussed what pieces to play with their own ensembles.
I find myself trapped. Wedged in that limbo between student and teacher. I watched the game and cheered the Apps to victory, yet still felt pointless. My heart was with the band, and that's where it belongs.
As I sit here at my desk I look over to my left and see my diploma hanging proudly on the wall. On my bookshelf is a computer printout of a North Carolina teaching license, and as I sit and contemplate on the two...I feel...I feel....
Hope. Purpose. Meaning. I am a teacher, and will always be a teacher. My heart is with the band, and it will always be there...but it's getting close to my turn. It's getting close to my turn to lead a band of my own. To inspire students and be inspired by them. To instill in my students a lifelong love and appreciation of the musical arts. Looking at these pieces of paper, they are but a symbol of my time as an undergraduate student at Appalachian. I now work for a new piece of paper. One that symbolizes advanced study in my field. One that means I will be better prepared, better equipped to fulfill my true purpose in life. I work to become a Master of my craft. I will embrace further game days with a renewed sense of vigor. I will meet my friends, watch the band, cheer the game on and enjoy being a student, for that time is growing short.
I know my purpose. My purpose was not lost, it just became a bit higher..that's all.
May God keep you this and every night.
~When he walks he casts a shadow of purpose. ~Emme Woodhull-Bäche
posted by Jeffrey Lazenby | 11:14 PM
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