A Music Major Lives Upstairs

It's quite disappointing to find that you spend so much time, and invest so much emotionally with a person, only to find that you've basically gotten nowhere. So what do I do now....

One day, I'm going to write a play, or a book, or movie, or something...about all the things behind the scenes of my life. All the times I spend chasing after people, only to have others take shortcuts and beat me to them.

I'll be sure to include my triumphs as a Drum Major at EBHS. All the success I had there, the happiness I seemed to have. Of course, I'll show the part that no one else saw. The part where I sat in my room, with my uniform and my music, so sad because there was no one to share it with.

I'll be sure to include the countless hours I've spent online, pining after some female. Only to get to that good friend stage, and never be able to take it the next step. I'll be sure to include the times that I felt like I was really getting somewhere, only to find that I've gotten nowhere.

The play will be a comedy, simply because I cannot bring myself to fully eliminate the image that I've created for myself. It's hard to be happy all the time, but I do it anyway, because I live to see other people happy. Maybe that's my downfall..that in an effort to see others happy, I neglect my own happiness.

I think I'll leave you with a line I've created for the play.....

"Come back? I've been chasing after you for years, and all I've gotten is tired. You know what? I'm tired of chasing after you...if you want me, you're going to have to chase after me. Now, I'm going to turn and walk away, and I hope and pray that I'll hear your footsteps following after me. If not, I'm glad I got to be your angel, for at least a little while...."

My name is Jeffrey Lazenby, I'm a music major, and I live upstairs....